Terrance Tarbert
Period 5
Date
Scene One
Characters: Alessandra - long hair, light-skin, really has a great attitude
Leo - strong in comparisons against others, loving and caring guy
Victoria- very pretty and is self-centered
Andre - Big in muscles but small in heart
Setting: The Oceanside Beach, by the Pier
At Rise: Leo And Andre are sitting under the peer waiting for their dates...when along comes trouble.
Leo
(looking at his watch) Aye bro, i think we’re a little early. Let’s go walk to the end and back.
Andre
Yeah...i don’t see them so lets walk
Leo
Alright.
Andre
Wait, let me stretch real quick, don’t want cramps
Leo
True,true...
A few minutes later
Andre
Okay, lets run back and forth two times.
Leo
Alright, lets race to make it interesting, loser has to take everyone out to dinner.
Andre
Okay well get ready to pay for four
Leo
Yeah right man, everyone knows I'm faster than you bro...come on(playing around)
Andre
OK....well lets see
Leo
OK then
(As they race to beat each other they see an up coming obstacle.)
What do you want to read about in the next scene of my play?
What is the best part of my scene?
What could I add to this scene to make it better?
I think that it is ok. I think that you need to capitilize your I's but other than that its good.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it's not fantastic yet, but it's getting there.
ReplyDeleteI like the characters and the start of the story; it seems like they are having a lot of fun on the pier. What happens next? What kind of conflict will they run into and how will the characters express themselves?
ReplyDelete